Why Are you Emailing Me?
Instead of returning the call, she sent me an email …
I left a voicemail for a friend and former colleague, asking if she was familiar with a company I’m interested in joining. Instead of returning the call, she sent me an email saying she wasn’t working in that industry anymore and wishing me good luck in my job search. What the hell? Should I call her again?
~Frustrated in Fort Worth
Dear Frustrated,
The short answer is ‘no.’ Your former colleague is sending a clear message that she either isn’t interested or isn’t willing to help you with your job search. She might be busy with her own career or focused on a personal or professional challenge, having nothing to do with you, or she might have an issue with you. There’s no way to know. But the switch to a different form of communication and one that’s asynchronous makes her intent clear – she doesn’t want to talk to you in real time, and she’s not going to help you investigate this company.
The only thing worse than no help is half-hearted help. Your former colleague may be doing you a favor by refusing to get involved.
Good luck with your job search!
Margo
One of my colleagues works in a remote office. If I have a quick question or a question that requires a rapid response, I’ll text him. He responds promptly but often via email instead. But because I texted him, I don’t look for an email response. On several occasions, I’ve gotten irritated with him, not realizing that his response by sitting in my inbox. Why does he do this, and what should I do about it?
~Pissed Off in Phoenix
I don’t know why your colleague does this. Since you don’t know either, I suggest you ask. Wait for a time when you’re not feeling annoyed; otherwise, your coworker could get defensive. Instead, inquire from a place of curiosity so that you and he can have a conversation about his choice of communication channels. Perhaps he’s on email all day, and that’s just an easier way for him to respond. Maybe he wants a way to track your exchanges, and that’s more efficiently done on email than text. Perhaps he thinks texting is too informal or shouldn’t be used for work conversations. Maybe he doesn’t text as quickly or efficiently as he types (or can’t see the screen on his phone as well as the screen on his laptop). One thing is for sure – since you’ve seen the behavior repeatedly, there is a reason for it. Your first assignment is to uncover it.
Once your colleague explains why he shifts to email, make sure you understand his reasoning, even if you don’t agree with it. If you’re going to ask him to change his behavior, you need to know what’s behind it first. You might need to ask a few follow-up questions, rephrase your initial question or dig a little deeper.
When you’re clear, have a conversation about what might work for both of you. Perhaps you could ask your questions on email so that you know to look for his response there, with the caveat that if you need a rapid response, you can use text, and he’ll respond over same. Stay focused on your goal – to get an answer to your question in a timely manner, and don’t get caught up in the mechanics. Your colleague’s responsiveness and your relationship with him are far more important than how he sends information to you.
Good luck! Let me know how the conversation goes.
Margo